A Hungry Hearts Appetite

It's difficult to stop feeding your stomach when your heart is hungry!

“Desires for other things”—there’s the enemy. And the only weapon that will triumph is a deeper hunger for God. The weakness of our hunger for God is not because he is unsavory, but because we keep ourselves stuffed with “other things.” Perhaps, then, the denial of our stomach’s appetite for food might express, or even increase, our soul’s appetite for God.

God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.

The fight of faith is a fight to feast on all that God is for us in Christ.

What we hunger for most, we worship.

Our hearts are hungry for approval, acceptance, affirmation, fulfillment, satisfaction, self-worth, and purpose! We are wired with that Hungry Heart to be filled with it's creator, God, our heavenly Father! Sadly, the tendency is to fill it with "Other Things"!

Those "Other Things" tend to be "other People" and when "other people" don't meet those needs, (because NO ONE can meet the vacuum in our hearts that was designed by our loving God to be filled with and by HIM ALONE & to be used FOR HIM!) then it is a hungry heart that gravitates toward "Other Things" in an attempt to do what ultimately NO THING can do!

"Other Things" include ANYTHING we use to "ESCAPE" or to "Cope" including alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, entertainment, work, excessive sleep, recreation, & yes, food. Even "good things" such as exercise can create problems for a hungry heart! Essentially ANYTHING, or ANYONE we use, or run to, or turn to, first, rather than running to or turning to the Lord!

Food is the ultimate choice for many because, first of all, we all have to eat anyway! However, for some, food is only eaten when the stomach is hungry. And for those, they tend to stop eating even before they are full. They eat to feed a real stomach hunger and not to feed a hungry heart! For others, myself included, the relationship with food goes MUCH DEEPER than that! I have even heard some claim that certain foods are better than sex. Well, I'll refrain from giving my opinion on that, but what a comparison, huh! Certainly sheds light on the food/love/lust, emotional and physical relationship!

For many, food is the ultimate companion! Food is easily accessible! It is socially acceptable! It tastes good! It feels good! It's that instant gratification! Food is full of memories! Food doesn't reject you! Food is fun! Food is something good to look forward to! Food is comforting!

God created food for us. He created us to need food to survive, and for fellowship and pleasure! Food was designed to provide us with strength and nourishment; to help us grow in good health! In it's intended purposes food is good. However, even good things that God created can become bad for us when used for reasons other than it's intended purposes!

When I first became aware of all the above, (back in 1990) it was so enlightening. It was the ultimate lightbulb moment, for me. Up to that point, I never really thought that God cared one way or another about what I ate or didn't eat. I learned that God does in fact care about EVERYTHING that has to do with His creation! There isn't ANYTHING about us that escapes His notice! Remember, our body is the temple of The Holy Spirit! So, it stands to reason that He certainly does care about everything pertaining to the body He designed and created!

Even though I learned all the above, a decade and a half ago, I still need a good reminder of it every now and again! Recently, on a personal level, I found the need to remind myself that no one can have the place in my heart that belongs only to the Lord. Sometimes, it is so tempting and easy to allow people and things to occupy the throne of my heart! The end result in that is I am always left with an even hungrier heart than before!

Jesus is better than ANY love I have ever known or experienced. He is better than any food I have ever tasted! He is better than any friend I have ever had, or ever will have! So, on occasion, when the flesh gets in the way, I have to ask myself If the thought, feeling, emotion or whatever I might find myself negatively or overly fixed on, the pangs of a Hungry Heart? If so, I must go to the Lord with it immediately and get it worked out! Going to the kitchen, or a drive-thru, or a bakery.... is not the answer! LOVE IS!

We were wired to love and be loved!

That's what fills A Hungry Hearts Appetite!

Hungry Heart

Changing Ways = Changing Weighs

Monday morning Nov.10th I got weighed for the first time in months!

I was greatly relieved to have maintained my weight this year! Still it is NOT the weight I want to weigh! Since I am an old pro at this weighing game, I know first-hand that in order to

change what one weighs one must change one's ways

It's not just about diet! It's not just about exercise! It's not just about drinking more water,

or better quality foods & drinks in single serving size portions! Nor is it just about exercising at least 30 minutes 3-5 times weekly!

However

All the above definitely contributes to getting from where we are, to where we want to be!

Now, that being said

This week I decided I would begin attacking "those little foxes" I wrote about last week!

We all know Rome wasn't built in a day, so I knew I would have to baby step my way! So

I started with an inventory of my kitchen pantry

Since I already had a few cans of fruits in their own juices and others with Splenda, I admitted that it would be JUST as easy to open up a can or two of fruit and eat that for a snack instead of cheese and crackers or peanut butter and crackers or something sweet.

Next, I made a grocery list of all the healthier whole foods I would need to purchase

So off I went to Publix!

$200.00 and an hour later I had enough to cook, eat & snack for the week; and enough for 3.

I'm proud to say that has worked out well, except for 1 drive-thru meal.

Another way I changed that will change what I weigh is to eliminate my daily trip to Utopia (my favorite coffee shop in the world)

That alone has saved me $50.00 and literally THOUSANDS of calories in fat and carbs!

I will go there on occasion, because this is about REAL LIFE!

I don't want to go the rest of my life without a coffee and a homemade danish from Utopia in Spring Hill, TN. But I felt it best this week to abstain and get that habit out of my routine!

Other ways I changed this week:

Exchanged a few unhealthy foods for healthier

White breads for Flax & Fiber Bread (Delicious too)

Ground Beef for Ground Chicken Breast and Ground Turkey Breast (YUMMY)

Pork sausage for Turkey Sausage (Can't Tell the difference)

Eggs for Egg Beaters fried in Extra Virgin Olive Oil and a bit of Smart Balance butter

Fattening Sweets Exchanged for South Beach Cereal/Meal Replacement Bars

The week is almost over and I have not felt deprived at all.

BUT EVEN BETTER THAN THAT!

The ways I already changed have already changed me!

Ruby

Ruby is the new reality TV series on STYLE TV Network that is now my favorite show on TV. Ruby is a beautiful sweet southern 480 lb. single woman desperately wanting not to be fat and unhealthy. Aside from the lond red hair and the name she is the me I used to be! As scary as it is to think about; in some ways she is me, today!

Thank God I don't weigh 500 + lbs. today. Been there, done that, hated it! I was 28 and told by Doctors I wouldn't live to be 30 without a miracle. Today at 46 I am a walking, talking, breathing, grateful miracle! However, the picture in my profile is the me I worked 4 years to be! Sadly this photo is not me, today!

As I type this I am also watching the 1st episode of Ruby for the 2nd time tonight. Between viewings I checked out her website. It's astonishing how much she reminds me of me. In SO MANY ways! I am thanking God for this show because it is a vivid reminder that right back to where I was is where I have been headed lately. Not that I haven't been aware of it and trying to make the changes I know I need to make; Hence this blog and starting Hungry Hearts Weight Management Support Group classes in a couple of local area churches in January 09. However, I've been denying some of the facts and ignoring the handwriting on the wall.

The bible talks about the "little foxes that spoil the vine". How very true that is in every area of life! Finances, relationships, career, and health/fitness.

Here are my vine spoiling little foxes!

• Daily trip to my favorite coffee shop for a fattening sweet roll and large mocha.
• Adding cheese and ranch dressing to an otherwise healthy salad.
• Real butter on bread and eating more than 1 piece
• Mashed potatoes with REAL cream and butter and eating 2 servings
• Red Meat with Gravies or chicken and dumplings and eating 2 servings
• Not removing the skin off the fried chicken
• late night spoonful of peanut butter and glass of milk
• buying a 1 lb tub of chocolate chip cookie dough, 2 liter Pepsi and chips once weekly
• Friday night Pizza with fattening meats and cheeses
• drinking a gallon of sweet iced tea every 2 days
• sitting more than moving
• not drinking water
• not eating healthy veggies and fruits
• not eating often enough and getting too hungry and then overeating carb rich snacks
• filling my plate FULL rather than spacing foods out

Just looking at all I have just written makes me cringe!

How in this world did I allow THAT many "little foxes" in!

See, all the above are not all done at once or even in the course of one day but throughout each week. These add up and over time they not only keep me from reducing weight but they are enablers to gaining more weight and preventing me from getting healthy again! These are things I would NEVER have done back in my healthier, happier, Hungry Hearts days. These are things I MUST change in order to become healthier and happier in these new Hungry Hearts days I am embarking on!

It makes me sick and sad that I can't call up or email Ruby and say "Hey, I've been there and I lost more weight than you are trying to and I have kept it off for 15 years"! That's what I should have been able to do tonight!

However, I am not about to whine about the past as though it is a lost cause! I do still have a great success story in that I have managed in spite of every obstacle you can almost imagine; to keep off 150 of the 335 lbs lost. I'm proud and very thankful for that!

Plus, I actually do like myself A LOT MORE now than I did when I was at my smallest weight. Truly I do!

Now, if I can get the outer me to reflect the inner me then I will be the me I am meant to be!

A WEEK OF EMOTIONS

• First, of course no surprise with this one but our country has made history by electing the first black/white/muti racial.... president. I'll refrain from commenting except to say I am glad I didn't have the urge to eat during the whole event. In fact, I didn't even consider it. There was a time in my past when ANYTHING experienced emotionally would send me marching toward the snack basket my Momma always kept in the kitchen. Of course the salty crunchies had to be followed by something smooth and creamy and sweet. But, not too much anymore. I will probably always have the tendency to want to eat to cope with emotions but I've noticed I am much more aware and in control thanks to all I learned and experienced with Hungry Hearts!
• Secondly, 2 people decided to no longer be my friend. Now, to explain; I have always been a person who has long lasting and very wonderful friendships. So, this is a new experience for me. The reason it is noteworthy here is because back in the day when I had a full blown hungry Heart, I would have eaten myself into oblivion because of lesser than this! I would have been so upset, sad, & maybe even depressed. But I noticed something about myself this week. It didn't bother me for myself! I hurt for the others involved. I know me and what I am capable of giving to friendships. I didn't do anything personally to hurt either person. It's just a case of association. I happen to be involved with certain people personally (family on one account and friendship/relationship on another) which is a problem for these 2 individuals who by the way are totally unrelative. They don't even know one another. It just happened that something that has never before happened to me has happened now twice in the same week!
• 3rd and final for now as the week isn't over yet; I have a great new job opportunity that I am very excited about but somewhat concerned about at the same time. I wonder if I can handle it physically as I am still dealing with a few issues where pain and inflammation are concerned. I also have concerns about my Dad being more alone than he already is with my working only part time now. Our home is very peaceful and tranquil and a place of rest and comfort. But all that silence and emptiness can get to a person after a while! He has his music and ministry that keeps his mind well occupied and I am so grateful for that. But my Dad, like me, loves to connect and communicate with others, after we've had some quiet time to ourselves. He always had my Mom and she alone was enough for him. Now she's gone and no amount of being with others is enough for him! He's always looking for that sweet smile, listening for that melodic voice. I hurt for him and hope someday soon he will find someone to ease the longing ache in his heart at least a little. I just don't want him to be so lonely he wants to go home to be with her. At least when I'm home there is activity and noise and hustle and bustle as I work in the house or talk on the phone or chat with him. When Janetta and Hannah are here it is even so much better. After Christmas they will probably not be able to be here as often as they have been. He won't get out much in the winter, especially by himself and winters are hard emotionally on a lot of folks anyway! So, understandably I am concerned.
• All the above have caused me to have a wide array of emotions this week. Fortunately I have not even desired at all to turn to food to comfort my Hungry Heart! I really learned alot about myself this week and it has been a positive learning experience, thank the Lord.
• I learned that my Hungry Heart isn't near as hungry as it used to be!

15 years ago I was celebrating the loss of more than 300 lbs. of excess body weight!

How did I accomplish losing more weight than most any 2 healthy sized women weigh?

ENDLESS PRAYING, healthy eating, & consistently working out!

It took 4 years but it was more than well worth every sacrifice, tear, frustrating plateau and endless peeling away of the emotional layers I hid behind!

Eventually I became the healthiest I had ever been since childhood! And in every way, the happiest!

As a result I was living my dream of helping others through the sharing of my personal testimony and by developing a program I named "HUNGRY HEARTS"!

The name was chosen because every human being has a God-Shaped vacuum I label a Hungry Heart! It was designed by God to be filled By and with Him, to be used FOR Him. However, like multitudes of others, I found myself trying to fill that void with food and relationships other than God!

I have been a Christian since my youth, but did not really have a personal and satisfying, soul filling relationship with Jesus Christ until I stopped using food and relationships to meet my inner needs! Finally through the help of a dear friend, I began to understand what it meant to really have a relationship with Jesus. As a result of letting Him fill the inner hunger, the outer weight began to melt off! Of course, I had to change my behaviours to change my weight! (I'll share more about all this fun stuff, in future blogs)

I was successful that time after many frustrating years of failed attempts, because I was doing it the right way for the right reasons! I learned that the inner weight was the real culprit that led to my extreme obesity and that I weighed a ton more on the inside than I did on the outside. I lost 335 lbs of external weight and I can only imagine the hundreds and hundreds of pounds I shed from the inside/out! Thank the Lord for that!

In 1993 I started Hungry Hearts Weight Management Support Groups in 3 states with successful results (more than 1,000 members) and loved every minute of coaching, mentoring, inspiring, and educating others like me who struggled with eating and weight issues!

Then in 1998 2 car accidents wrecked much more than the vehicles involved. They damaged my health, finances, business, ministry, and my personal & spitritual life. For 7 years I battled Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Depression, Oppression, anger, financial bankruptcy, and the worst spiritual desert I have ever walked through!

The only thing other than my precious family and friends that kept me from totally going backwards was that I had an inner knowing that since I wasn't killed (and by all indications I ahould have been) I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that God STILL was not finished with me and because I already knew His purpose for me (Hungry Hearts) I realized that I would someday be fit again to be used for Him!

I took myself off all the medications that weren't working anyway and fought to get my life back! I made myself get back into the real world in spite of my physical pain! To re-start my finances I took fulltime work as a retail sales merchandiser. The income has sustained me and I am very thankful for it but it is just that! Income! It does nothing to fulfill my purpose and passion! So it is only temporary....

Tragically just as I started to get back on my feet, my beloved Momma, was diagnosed with late stage Uterine Cancer and fought with everything in her to beat it! Her ultimate healing happened May 11, 2007 when Jesus came and took her home with Him. Since then it has been a challenge to accept and adjust to a new normal life!

Just days before leaving us, my Momma looked at me and said, "Teeney, you have to get back to doing your Hungry Hearts. It's your calling. It's your passion. It's your purpose!" I knew she was right and I would have to somehow get back on track!

Recently my precious and Godly dad has been urging me to get back into Hungry Hearts! I know this man of wisdom who knows me best, is right! Still I am a bit scared because I have re-gained half the weight and that is difficult to swallow! Still, I know I have a lot to offer. Plus, I can lose weight and get back in shape WITH those I am trying to help, rather than just telling them what and how to do it! That's a BIG positive!

So, taking a deep breath.... Here I go! This blog is the first big step of many! But reaching the finish line is only possible by taking the first step!

I am 46 with a goal of reducing 130-150 lbs. The main thing is to get healthy and fit! The number on the scale isn't the main focus!

I have always believed that God can turn the worst things in our life around to become the greatest blessings! If I can help someone else, then all I have gone through will have not been in vain!

Check back soon and often for "before, After, & Current" photos, journaling, and more! I will probably post a few menus, snacks, recipes, fitness info, motivational goodies and of course personal tidbits past, present, and future.... basically whatever is of interest....

I pray this blog touches and makes a positive difference in your life!

From My Hungry Heart To Yours!
Love,
Tina Maria