Ruby

Ruby is the new reality TV series on STYLE TV Network that is now my favorite show on TV. Ruby is a beautiful sweet southern 480 lb. single woman desperately wanting not to be fat and unhealthy. Aside from the lond red hair and the name she is the me I used to be! As scary as it is to think about; in some ways she is me, today!

Thank God I don't weigh 500 + lbs. today. Been there, done that, hated it! I was 28 and told by Doctors I wouldn't live to be 30 without a miracle. Today at 46 I am a walking, talking, breathing, grateful miracle! However, the picture in my profile is the me I worked 4 years to be! Sadly this photo is not me, today!

As I type this I am also watching the 1st episode of Ruby for the 2nd time tonight. Between viewings I checked out her website. It's astonishing how much she reminds me of me. In SO MANY ways! I am thanking God for this show because it is a vivid reminder that right back to where I was is where I have been headed lately. Not that I haven't been aware of it and trying to make the changes I know I need to make; Hence this blog and starting Hungry Hearts Weight Management Support Group classes in a couple of local area churches in January 09. However, I've been denying some of the facts and ignoring the handwriting on the wall.

The bible talks about the "little foxes that spoil the vine". How very true that is in every area of life! Finances, relationships, career, and health/fitness.

Here are my vine spoiling little foxes!

• Daily trip to my favorite coffee shop for a fattening sweet roll and large mocha.
• Adding cheese and ranch dressing to an otherwise healthy salad.
• Real butter on bread and eating more than 1 piece
• Mashed potatoes with REAL cream and butter and eating 2 servings
• Red Meat with Gravies or chicken and dumplings and eating 2 servings
• Not removing the skin off the fried chicken
• late night spoonful of peanut butter and glass of milk
• buying a 1 lb tub of chocolate chip cookie dough, 2 liter Pepsi and chips once weekly
• Friday night Pizza with fattening meats and cheeses
• drinking a gallon of sweet iced tea every 2 days
• sitting more than moving
• not drinking water
• not eating healthy veggies and fruits
• not eating often enough and getting too hungry and then overeating carb rich snacks
• filling my plate FULL rather than spacing foods out

Just looking at all I have just written makes me cringe!

How in this world did I allow THAT many "little foxes" in!

See, all the above are not all done at once or even in the course of one day but throughout each week. These add up and over time they not only keep me from reducing weight but they are enablers to gaining more weight and preventing me from getting healthy again! These are things I would NEVER have done back in my healthier, happier, Hungry Hearts days. These are things I MUST change in order to become healthier and happier in these new Hungry Hearts days I am embarking on!

It makes me sick and sad that I can't call up or email Ruby and say "Hey, I've been there and I lost more weight than you are trying to and I have kept it off for 15 years"! That's what I should have been able to do tonight!

However, I am not about to whine about the past as though it is a lost cause! I do still have a great success story in that I have managed in spite of every obstacle you can almost imagine; to keep off 150 of the 335 lbs lost. I'm proud and very thankful for that!

Plus, I actually do like myself A LOT MORE now than I did when I was at my smallest weight. Truly I do!

Now, if I can get the outer me to reflect the inner me then I will be the me I am meant to be!